Before I uninstalled TikTok, my wife once peeked over my shoulder and watched a few videos with me, getting just the kind of window into my psychology that you describe in this article.
She just asked “You realize that every one of these videos’ main message is that you’re not good enough in some way?”
And she was right! They were all self-help adjacent, though mostly spiritual or biohacker-y. Every video would propose a reason I was inadequate and then offer a solution.
You could say I was distracting myself from my desire to be good enough. Good enough for what? To earn what? Really, I was distracting myself from the fact I didn’t believe myself worthy of love—or love myself.
I didn’t frame it in exactly those terms back then. Looking at my example you can see how it’s a useful conceptual framework, though. All that confrontation with my self-loathing shadow was holding me back from getting the love that would actually solve my problem.
So yeah. Glad I uninstalled TikTok. Lots more energy to connect with myself.
Thank you, Charlotte. This is such an important, insightful, self-reflective post! Great journal prompts, too. I appreciate how you looked at your own priorities/motives when it comes to big D (which could stand for dopamine). I don’t have IG, FB, TT or X... but have been seriously re-evaluating time spent on YouTube, Reddit, Netflix, DuoLingo, Substack, Patreon and asking myself why I go down so many time-sucking rabbit holes. It’s dystopic and bad for my addled nervous system. I like to culture jam a bit by turning corporate brands into alternative names: Facepants, Twatter, Instaspam, Home Despot, Bloodbath and Beyond, BiMort, etc. to subvert their power in my head. Amazon is Autofac. Like the Black Mirror episode.
Spot on. I was going to share a pic of my page but I don’t seem to know how. I think the broad theme is ‘things are not what they seem’ breeding insecurity and paranoia that yes, I already possess.
I feel so out of it because I didn't even know I had an "explore" page! My biggest distraction is online Scrabble, but I only play with family members so I don't consider a weird random thing.
Our existence is ending one minute at a time. Most of us have at least some ambition to do some outlandish thing, yet we do nothing to make it happen. Often the reason is fear or anxiety. Our lives are often derailed by only mild discomfort. And to comfort us from the discomfort we have mindless crap online.
Everyone does it. It is a constant battle. My best antidote is to produce something, anything. Articles, music, dig the garden.
Before I uninstalled TikTok, my wife once peeked over my shoulder and watched a few videos with me, getting just the kind of window into my psychology that you describe in this article.
She just asked “You realize that every one of these videos’ main message is that you’re not good enough in some way?”
And she was right! They were all self-help adjacent, though mostly spiritual or biohacker-y. Every video would propose a reason I was inadequate and then offer a solution.
You could say I was distracting myself from my desire to be good enough. Good enough for what? To earn what? Really, I was distracting myself from the fact I didn’t believe myself worthy of love—or love myself.
I didn’t frame it in exactly those terms back then. Looking at my example you can see how it’s a useful conceptual framework, though. All that confrontation with my self-loathing shadow was holding me back from getting the love that would actually solve my problem.
So yeah. Glad I uninstalled TikTok. Lots more energy to connect with myself.
Wow! Good for your wife! I feel like the “you’re not good enough” is sooo pervasive on social because it’s such an excellent sales technique.
And I love your deeper insight on love. ❤️ I feel that too.
Thank you, Charlotte. This is such an important, insightful, self-reflective post! Great journal prompts, too. I appreciate how you looked at your own priorities/motives when it comes to big D (which could stand for dopamine). I don’t have IG, FB, TT or X... but have been seriously re-evaluating time spent on YouTube, Reddit, Netflix, DuoLingo, Substack, Patreon and asking myself why I go down so many time-sucking rabbit holes. It’s dystopic and bad for my addled nervous system. I like to culture jam a bit by turning corporate brands into alternative names: Facepants, Twatter, Instaspam, Home Despot, Bloodbath and Beyond, BiMort, etc. to subvert their power in my head. Amazon is Autofac. Like the Black Mirror episode.
Facepants! Love that!
Spot on. I was going to share a pic of my page but I don’t seem to know how. I think the broad theme is ‘things are not what they seem’ breeding insecurity and paranoia that yes, I already possess.
So fascinating. Yeah I guess Substack needs to enable sharing pics, or you could send it in my chat if you’re using the app.
I feel so out of it because I didn't even know I had an "explore" page! My biggest distraction is online Scrabble, but I only play with family members so I don't consider a weird random thing.
Haha ok, you’re winning! Scrabble for the win!
Thought provoking. A good way of thinking about social media: distraction!
That's right. Some may be useful or educational, but most of the time it is Distraction.
Our existence is ending one minute at a time. Most of us have at least some ambition to do some outlandish thing, yet we do nothing to make it happen. Often the reason is fear or anxiety. Our lives are often derailed by only mild discomfort. And to comfort us from the discomfort we have mindless crap online.
Everyone does it. It is a constant battle. My best antidote is to produce something, anything. Articles, music, dig the garden.
I LOVE this comment. So true. Looking from the outside in, few want this, yet we all do so much of it.
You may like this then:
https://abysspostcard.substack.com/p/the-purpose-of-life-is-a-glorious
Thank you!