Social Media Detachment Syndrome

Disconnect, or "stay informed"?

As summer protests and global wars intensify, I find myself once again wanting to detach from social media, while at the same time, being unable to detach from social media. How about you?

I know I’m not alone in this feeling. Many are deleting or want to delete social media apps. They’re switching off specific platforms or pausing their accounts in droves. It’s hard to be a human on the Internet these days. People truly suck. Distraction is a plague. And we don’t even know what’s real or AI anymore.

How rarely do we go an hour without looking at screens? It’s nuts.

Don’t mind me, I’m just watching a war

AI makes it worse

If you haven’t seen the HBO dark comedy Mountainhead, which is set in a world where realistic AI video causes massive political upheaval, I highly recommend it because I feel like that time is imminent/here. This ai-ification, the botapocalypse, adds to the desire to disconnect, because using my precious life minutes to watch or read content written by a computer doesn’t seem wise.

Movie promo image for Mountainhead

People take everything too personally

I also recently had an unpleasant experience where a medical provider terminated my care because he didn’t like something I’d posted on social media. He wouldn’t say what. This, too, made me want to delete my social media, and was very upsetting. I spiraled over it for days, going back over everything I’d posted recently, debating what might have so egregiously offended this doctor I’d really liked. It felt like such a surprise act of rejection and judgment.

But even before this doctor’s confrontation with me, for weeks, in the back of my mind, I’ve been contemplating deactivating all my social media apps for the summer and pausing this Substack until September. When I consider the downsides of logging off, there aren’t many.

Social Media Detachment Syndrome

Yet, I don’t log off because I’m addicted to online life. I find all sorts of reasons not to deactivate accounts, not even temporarily. The reasons are excuses, but they convince me.

This feeling of wanting to distance oneself from social media, comments, and short-form video is what I’m calling Social Media Detachment Syndrome, but it also operates in the reverse direction, where I find myself using social media to detach from real life.

Feeling lonely? Open TikTok and get lost for an hour. Feeling rejected? Post thirst traps on IG and hope for digital attention. Feeling fat? Watch before-and-after weight-loss shorts on YouTube. Feeling gossipy? Hop on Facebook. The detachment potentials are infinite.

I should probably take a break, yet I want to “stay informed,” one of the ultimate excuses.

Maybe instead of Social Media Detachment Syndrome, we should do Social Media Detachment Summer, and log off until the autumn equinox.

Or maybe we’ll be forced to disconnect, as Iran hits us with endless cyberattacks.

The productivity/connection trap

I also want to finish writing my next novel, Ayahuasca Star Child, which is 75% written, and using social media, even writing these Substacks, may detract from that endeavor. Yet, I often do research for the novel online. According to marketing experts, a newsletter and social media are important tools for authors to maintain connections with readers.

Furthermore, I fear I’ll get lonely if I deactivate. Most of my friends live in other places, and we often communicate in social media dms and through sending memes, links, and funny videos.

Does social media cause social connection or social disconnection? I keep wondering.

Do cellphone apps help us be more productive or less productive?

Social media is also good for planning trips, looking at restaurants, learning new skills, understanding your problems, for so many things, which makes leaving it even harder.

Perhaps the answer is obvious, but not easy: find balance.

Maybe I need to download one of those apps parents use to restrict their children’s online access. Maybe I need to treat myself more like a five-year-old whose brain I care about. Maybe I need to only use social media as a search engine, not as a TV.

Help, please

So, I’m asking you, please share with me how you balance your internet life with your real life? How often do you take screen breaks? How much free scrolling do you allow? What are your notification settings? How do you protect your creative time and energy? How do you avoid getting emotionally involved in current events or online hysteria?

More grass touching, please

That’s all for today. Wishing you well in these chaotic times. Which, btw, are probably only ACTUALLY chaotic for us when we go online. Most of us don’t live in LA, Ukraine, Palestine, Iran, or Israel.

XXXXOOOO

Charlotte Dune

Want more? The index of all my writing is here.