I only have Substack on my phone (no notifications), plus Telegram and WA.
I've given up on Twitter and FB, only look at IG every two weeks or so.
None of that required any discipline, gradually the amount of toxic content overwhelmed the useful stuff and I couldn't bear to open the apps, I simply didn't want to. Substack is going the same way, tbh, but I'm still here for now.
I don't feel like I'm missing out, even though in a way I know I am. But right now, I feel like reading Borges' 'Collected Fictions' is more important than anything I would find on social media.
Thank you for this. You've put my feelings into words. I have found lately that because I don't stay in the loop, I can't properly join in on conversations anymore. It's like by trying to better myself and use screens less, I'm actually distancing myself from humankind. 😓 What's worse is that I'm very introverted, so all my hobbies are indoors, solo activities so like...other than work colleagues, I'm completely isolated without online communities. You're completely right in that balance is the answer. I've just got to figure out where to drawn the line.
That’s how I feel too! Sometimes people talk about things like I should be aware and I’m not at all and have never even heard of it. We’re all slipping into these different media silos or what George Orwell called reality tubes.
And same on the introverted hobbies and working from home. It’s a conundrum.
Ugh I so needed to hear this! I considered myself pretty balanced before the infamous rollerskating incident in Flo-rida. Since then, I have found myself endlessly scrolling, four HOURS, (record 2h45mins) and I come out of it none the wiser. I say to myself, 'im following content creators about relationship breakups and its cheaper than therapy' but am I any better? Not really. Because they offer bread crumbs, because they are also in the business of selling, then helping and their content is really just advertisement. I know better. But I click on their captions, I go to their links.. I even have now subscribed to ones newsletter.
It's perfect timing this came out today. I decided to get back to my balance which was this: I did not 'social media' while the sun is out. I fill my days with my needs, wants, and do's and then, as I wind down, and all the things are done for the day, I'll settle into a solid hour. Where I have restrictions on both tiktok and instagram. And beyond that, I have no solutions except we can start Whats App as our summer only communication and remove apps for the summer I'm all for that.
Ahhh but you get a pass! You’re recovering! But I know what you mean. Better to read a book.
Also not doing it while the sun is out — I like that. Good idea. And the days are so long in the Canadian summer that by the time it sets you’ll be too sleepy for hours of TikTok!
Have you tried ChatGPT for breakup therapy? Breakups do SUCK! Not that I’m recommending ChatGPT as amazing, but just curious.
How often do I take screen breaks? Probably not often enough! I don’t know how to disengage some days. I don’t want to be overwhelmed, but I quickly fall down a rabbit hole and scroll for an hour, after telling myself I won’t do that again! I don’t know what the answer is, but know you are not alone!!!!
btw that was weird how that doctor blocked you from care because of something they saw on socials - I mean, do doctors have to agree with what their patients believe in order to treat them? If a doctor had to treat a politician they really disagree with, would they now say they couldn't do it? I thought the whole Hippocratic Oath principle overrode all of that. I can't imagine you posting anything so terrible that someone would cancel you like that, not that I agree with everything you post either.
Thank you. I also thought it was horrible of the doctor. At least he should have told me what the offending comment was. Not only that, but they did it in a crappy way where they ghosted me for a while and then sent a legal letter with a carrier that I had to sign for. It was unnecessarily stressful as I didn't know at first who the letter was from and was just like, Oh God, who is suing me?? And he's a specialist, so I don't even know who I'll replace him with now. Quite unprofessional, if you ask me.
yeah that’s appalling, I know it’s a for-profit healthcare system over there but I would imagine that if you pay (via insurance or not), you get the treatment you need
Nope. Doctors can reject anyone so long as it’s not for race, gender, religion, or sexuality reasons and of course they can circumvent those laws by making up whatever reason they like.
I have never been on the big three social media platforms. I'm not a Luddite or anything—in fact I tend to be, like, a step removed from an early tech adopter. But I've never seen the good in it. It's always looked like a horror show to me. So I can't be much help there except to say that I'm one person who's never been there and never felt like I was missing out on anything by not being there, and I don't have any of the downstream problems from there.
As for the Internet more generally, I was 11 when I got an Internet connection. This is, like, 1987ish. It was I think a 600 baud dial up modem? And I would mostly get on for these rpg sites called MUDs that were kind of like a text based precursor to MMOs. And I figured out pretty quickly that I could spend all my time doing that. So I'd have to, like, cut myself off—kina like what I think you're saying with social media and balance? There was no balance for me, tho. I was either hooked into the game or not. Closer to substance use vibes.
Anyway, I eventually quit playing them because I knew I couldn't handle it, and I was lucky enough to have a social life irl.
But I did meet people online back in the 90s. It probably seems quaint or odd to say now, but it was considered quite risky or maybe even kina cringe back then. I didn't really care about that, but. They usually didn't work out because of distance and just drift.
Lemme loop back to social media really quick. I did use these somewhat obscure social media sites like Ello (RIP pour one out), Okuna, and Vero. I could see how people could get sucked into them, and I did spend an incredible amount of time posting on Ello and running a writing group there. Like people thought I worked for Ello 😂 And I could get a little unhinged when people would get into news and stuff. It was an art site, so that didn't happen super often, but around big events it would.
I try not to use any social features if I can help it. I know this is one, and I'm okay with it so I can talk with you, C 😄 But they're generally not serving me or us, right? They're serving someone who doesn't really know or care about us.
I thought I had something helpful to say, but it turns out I just had *a lot* to say 😅 Cheers!
It was helpful what you've said! And I love hearing about early user internet lore. You're lucky to have avoided these downstream effects.
Also, I was thinking about you the other day because an old friend is putting on a Frank Zappa cover band concert in Richmond, and I'm not sure this is something you'd be interested in, but I love this friend and want to support his show. If you or anyone you know is interested, please share! https://www.revelerexperiences.com/event/hot-seats-rumble-trio-play-zappa
I only have Substack on my phone (no notifications), plus Telegram and WA.
I've given up on Twitter and FB, only look at IG every two weeks or so.
None of that required any discipline, gradually the amount of toxic content overwhelmed the useful stuff and I couldn't bear to open the apps, I simply didn't want to. Substack is going the same way, tbh, but I'm still here for now.
I don't feel like I'm missing out, even though in a way I know I am. But right now, I feel like reading Borges' 'Collected Fictions' is more important than anything I would find on social media.
I hope I continue to feel this way.
I need to be more like you! That's awesome! Ig every two weeks is really good.
Thank you for this. You've put my feelings into words. I have found lately that because I don't stay in the loop, I can't properly join in on conversations anymore. It's like by trying to better myself and use screens less, I'm actually distancing myself from humankind. 😓 What's worse is that I'm very introverted, so all my hobbies are indoors, solo activities so like...other than work colleagues, I'm completely isolated without online communities. You're completely right in that balance is the answer. I've just got to figure out where to drawn the line.
That’s how I feel too! Sometimes people talk about things like I should be aware and I’m not at all and have never even heard of it. We’re all slipping into these different media silos or what George Orwell called reality tubes.
And same on the introverted hobbies and working from home. It’s a conundrum.
Ugh I so needed to hear this! I considered myself pretty balanced before the infamous rollerskating incident in Flo-rida. Since then, I have found myself endlessly scrolling, four HOURS, (record 2h45mins) and I come out of it none the wiser. I say to myself, 'im following content creators about relationship breakups and its cheaper than therapy' but am I any better? Not really. Because they offer bread crumbs, because they are also in the business of selling, then helping and their content is really just advertisement. I know better. But I click on their captions, I go to their links.. I even have now subscribed to ones newsletter.
It's perfect timing this came out today. I decided to get back to my balance which was this: I did not 'social media' while the sun is out. I fill my days with my needs, wants, and do's and then, as I wind down, and all the things are done for the day, I'll settle into a solid hour. Where I have restrictions on both tiktok and instagram. And beyond that, I have no solutions except we can start Whats App as our summer only communication and remove apps for the summer I'm all for that.
Ahhh but you get a pass! You’re recovering! But I know what you mean. Better to read a book.
Also not doing it while the sun is out — I like that. Good idea. And the days are so long in the Canadian summer that by the time it sets you’ll be too sleepy for hours of TikTok!
Have you tried ChatGPT for breakup therapy? Breakups do SUCK! Not that I’m recommending ChatGPT as amazing, but just curious.
How often do I take screen breaks? Probably not often enough! I don’t know how to disengage some days. I don’t want to be overwhelmed, but I quickly fall down a rabbit hole and scroll for an hour, after telling myself I won’t do that again! I don’t know what the answer is, but know you are not alone!!!!
Same. And for us writers it’s hard, because writing and selling books is soooo much screen time!
btw that was weird how that doctor blocked you from care because of something they saw on socials - I mean, do doctors have to agree with what their patients believe in order to treat them? If a doctor had to treat a politician they really disagree with, would they now say they couldn't do it? I thought the whole Hippocratic Oath principle overrode all of that. I can't imagine you posting anything so terrible that someone would cancel you like that, not that I agree with everything you post either.
Thank you. I also thought it was horrible of the doctor. At least he should have told me what the offending comment was. Not only that, but they did it in a crappy way where they ghosted me for a while and then sent a legal letter with a carrier that I had to sign for. It was unnecessarily stressful as I didn't know at first who the letter was from and was just like, Oh God, who is suing me?? And he's a specialist, so I don't even know who I'll replace him with now. Quite unprofessional, if you ask me.
yeah that’s appalling, I know it’s a for-profit healthcare system over there but I would imagine that if you pay (via insurance or not), you get the treatment you need
Nope. Doctors can reject anyone so long as it’s not for race, gender, religion, or sexuality reasons and of course they can circumvent those laws by making up whatever reason they like.
I have never been on the big three social media platforms. I'm not a Luddite or anything—in fact I tend to be, like, a step removed from an early tech adopter. But I've never seen the good in it. It's always looked like a horror show to me. So I can't be much help there except to say that I'm one person who's never been there and never felt like I was missing out on anything by not being there, and I don't have any of the downstream problems from there.
As for the Internet more generally, I was 11 when I got an Internet connection. This is, like, 1987ish. It was I think a 600 baud dial up modem? And I would mostly get on for these rpg sites called MUDs that were kind of like a text based precursor to MMOs. And I figured out pretty quickly that I could spend all my time doing that. So I'd have to, like, cut myself off—kina like what I think you're saying with social media and balance? There was no balance for me, tho. I was either hooked into the game or not. Closer to substance use vibes.
Anyway, I eventually quit playing them because I knew I couldn't handle it, and I was lucky enough to have a social life irl.
But I did meet people online back in the 90s. It probably seems quaint or odd to say now, but it was considered quite risky or maybe even kina cringe back then. I didn't really care about that, but. They usually didn't work out because of distance and just drift.
Lemme loop back to social media really quick. I did use these somewhat obscure social media sites like Ello (RIP pour one out), Okuna, and Vero. I could see how people could get sucked into them, and I did spend an incredible amount of time posting on Ello and running a writing group there. Like people thought I worked for Ello 😂 And I could get a little unhinged when people would get into news and stuff. It was an art site, so that didn't happen super often, but around big events it would.
I try not to use any social features if I can help it. I know this is one, and I'm okay with it so I can talk with you, C 😄 But they're generally not serving me or us, right? They're serving someone who doesn't really know or care about us.
I thought I had something helpful to say, but it turns out I just had *a lot* to say 😅 Cheers!
It was helpful what you've said! And I love hearing about early user internet lore. You're lucky to have avoided these downstream effects.
Also, I was thinking about you the other day because an old friend is putting on a Frank Zappa cover band concert in Richmond, and I'm not sure this is something you'd be interested in, but I love this friend and want to support his show. If you or anyone you know is interested, please share! https://www.revelerexperiences.com/event/hot-seats-rumble-trio-play-zappa
Far out! I totally know some folks who'll dig this. I may go, too, depending on what's happening that week. Thanks!
Oh, and if e'er you find yourself in Richmond for a visit, we gotta get together 😊
Definitely! I think I’m going to come up for to this show! I’ll keep you posted.