The Rise of Galentine's Day: Because in this Recession, Corporations Need Everybody's Money.

And most men aren't that great at picking out romantic gifts anyway... (Plus, a surprise giveaway!)

“Galentine’s Day” is all the rage this year and I’m seeing it everywhere, with businesses encouraging women to buy their female friends rosy, sparkly gifts this February Love Season.

But what is the rise of Galentine’s Day really about? A de-coupling of couples from V- Day capitalism? A way to get women to buy more things? A nod that the world knows that men aren’t that stellar at picking out romantic gifts? (Sorry guys). A way to let dudes off the hook? The reality that more and more people are staying single forever? The increasing reluctance of people(men) to stay in a relationship with one person? The result of swiper-keep-swiping dating app culture? The outcome of “Dinge” “Ok-Dufus” “Swindler” and “Plenty of Shish-ka-bobs?” (LOL) Declining marriage rates? A sign that feminism worked a little too well? The mark of a world that knows the true value of women’s spending power? A recession cash grab? A reminder that women value friendship over love? The end of romance? A cute-as-Hell-o-Kitty-Best-Friends-Forever-Holiday?

A top Galentine’s Day gift recommended this year by Cosmo magazine.

I think it’s all of the above.

I also love the idea. I’m celebrating!

One of my primary love languages is gifts (the other is service) and I love giving my friends, family, and lovers gifts, sometimes extravagant gifts, so hell yeah, I’ll take Galentine’s Day.

Also, Valentine’s Day can be such a depressing day when you’re single or recently dumped, or when you just have a partner who is sub-par at shopping, or broke, or anti-capitalist, or has a totally different love language.

Well, in comes Galentine’s Day to the chocolate heart rescue! Maybe this year your girlfriend with that great job will mail you roses instead of some dude that doesn’t always text you back.

Plus, do men really even like Valentine’s Day? I sense most dread it. Please correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m going to assume that 90% of men do not want Broentine’s Day. After all, the holiday practically coincides with Super Bowl weekend… Wouldn’t want to interrupt that.

So, what does the Internet say are the top Galentine’s Day gifts? I looked at several “Top Galentine’s Day Gift Lists” in popular publications and most of the items are self-care/pamper-culture, GirlBoss, rosé all day, sleepy-gal goodies under $50, including sugary pink things, fuzzy pink things, satiny pink things, and fizzy pink things, plus mauve-colored gua-sha face rollers, lux eye creams, silky scrunchies, rose-quartz crystals galore, scented candles, heart earrings, and my personal favorite: bitchy, funny books.

Best Galentine’s Day Gift example from USA Today

You might even consider gifting your girlfriends my novels for Galentine’s Day, they definitely contain steam and spice, but they’re more about finding love, and for me, friendship or empowerment books are perhaps the better choice for this romantic-relationship abandonment reboot of the most hetero-holiday on earth.

My novels for Galentine’s Day? A good choice if your girlfriend is into psychedelics.

And yes, all the recommended Galentine’s Day gifts seem to be almost insultingly femme and very stereotypically straight white woman… The corporations be like, FINALLY, a reoccurring holiday to get women to buy many many pink stuff! Because you only have one/maybe two moms at best, so Mother’s Day is limiting, but you could have ten girlfriends!

And couldn’t men with female friends celebrate Galentine’s Day too? There you go, single fellas—get your single plutonic lady mate something nice! Take her out to dinner too! Let’s get everyone involved in this spending!

In fact, why didn’t we call it “Palentine’s Day” to emphasize all friends? Hmm. Must we gender EVERYTHING?

Furthermore, given how annoyingly femme-gendered the holiday is, I also recommend that if you decide to celebrate it and can afford to splurge on your gal pals this Galentine’s Day, maybe think outside of the rose-colored, heart-shaped chocolate box. Consider giving your best friend some stock. Or give her a black skull kettlebell. Give her something THAT IS NOT PINK. Try a novel off the Best Butch Literature List. Or select one of the many classic finance books marketed exclusively to men, like Rich Dad Poor Dad or The Richest Man in Babylon.

Also, it goes without saying that kind words, sweet hugs, time spent together, and even just funny memes and GIFs can be just as meaningful as material gifts. If money is tight, do something free with your gal pals. Treat them to a back rub. Braid their hair. Clean their toilets.

And in the spirit of Galentine’s Day gifting, the first three lady subscribers to my Substack (in the US or Canada) who comment on this post, or respond by email will get a Galentine’s Day gift in the mail from me, containing a love letter, a book from my library, and a surprise! Also, let me know your favorite genre to read in and I’ll message you and get your address.

Thank you partly to writer,

Courtney Maum

for giving me the love letter mail idea with her Galentine's Day giveaway! Scroll down to the “Events and Other Happenings” section to see her giveaway.

And thanks for reading!

Happy Galentine’s Day to all, AND happy Valentine’s Day/Superb Owl Weekend too!

Love all ya’ll for hanging out with me and reading this Substack! Please share today’s post with a friend. Merci Beaucoup!

XXXOOO

Charlotte Dune